I am a card carrying animal lover person. However, I am not of the PETA variety. I think calves are very cute. I also think they look like they’ll be tasty when they grow up. I will go out of my way not to hurt an animal, going so far as to near wreck trying to avoid squishing a squirrel. *Confession: I care more about hosing the squirrel off my tires than I do the well being of the squirrel. Anyway, my point is, I don’t want to hurt an animal. But, (and you knew there was one) my neighbor is doing his absolute best to make me change my perspective on that.
My neighbor has a big heart, that probably smells like cat pee. He runs a home for wayward felines on his porch. On any given day you’ll see probably 3-10 kittehs around his house.
We had the following conversation the other day:
Me: Dude, you’ve got another litter of kittens over there.
Him: I know! Did you know that they mated with their momma? (he was genuinely surprised that cats practiced incest)
So, my landscaping is now a massive litter box. My dogs think it is a buffet. Every trip outside is a battle of strength and wills to keep them out of the shit box vending machine that my rose bush has turned into. It makes me angry. I yell at my dogs. My other neighbors probably think I’m a crazy bitch. That makes me mad at those f’ng cats! It makes me want to electrify my mulch. It makes me a cat hater. I don’t want to be a cat hater.