Monthly Archives: April 2009

If fish don’t like bananas, how long does it take a drunk monkey to pick the seeds out of a pickle?

Recently, it seems I am being assaulted with references to age. Perhaps it was always there and I am noticing it now because my age is becoming more evident or perhaps more prevalent in my life. I could lament the status of the aged in the US and compare it to the status of the aged in Asia and talk of wisdom and patience and blah blah blah.  Doesn’t really matter though, what old folks are treated like in Asia I live in the US of A.  I think I’ll trade being old as a negative for not being tossed in a dumpster when I was born without a penis.  

Earlier this year, I purchased some eye cream that claimed to reduce the signs of aging. My eyes are where I show my age the most (besides the gray hair, which I cover).  If the results were proportionate to the cost of the product, I should have the eyes of a fetus by now. Since, none of my friends or acquaintances have mistaken me for a 10 year old recently, I’ll assume that its effects cannot be judged by its cost.

I have decided (for now anyway) that there is not a damn thing wrong with lines around my eyes. Most of these lines came from a lot of smiling, so I will treasure them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go dye my hair.