Monthly Archives: May 2009

What is it about academia that sucks the fun out of everything, like some fun sucking vampire thing.

There is something about academia that has always puzzled me, specifically in the area of Literature. Being an English major I have taken more than my fair share of Lit classes.  I LOVE (note emphasis) to read. I don’t have cable because I would rather read most times. So, why do high school Enghlish teachers go out of their way to suck the fun out of the act of reading?  I understand that everyone should be exposed to some of the classics, but just because they are “classic” does not mean they are good.  And by good I mean that the consumption of them brings some sort of enrichment to me–be it in the form of entertainment or insight into a time in history. However, I am mostly focused on the entertainment.

I know,  education is not about entertainment, right?  Or is it? One hundred years ago, I would not have had the opportunity to be as educated. So, what would I have been doing then?  Oh yeah, working. Well, since the whole point of education is to get you a better job. So you can do what?  Ah, have more time and money to be entertained.

I have read my share of the classics. I even enjoyed some of them.  But I think cartoonist, Stephan Pastis says it best..

Pearls Before Swine

Conversations with A Cocker Spaniel

I asked my dog what he thought the best in man
He said, “the love you dispense to me twice daily from a can.”
-Sting, Conversations with a Dog

Today folks, you are in for a rare treat, a rare treat indeed. I have managed to secure an exclusive conversation with, none other than, my cocker spaniel–Elphaba. Elphaba (Elfie) joins us today from the back of the couch in the living room.

So, Elfie, what are you working on this days?

Elfie:
I’m so glad you asked. I have a couple of projects going on right now. First of all, I’m trying to tear the squeaker out of that Moobie (she indicates what used to be a stuffed dinosaur on the floor, it is missing its head and all four feet). That’s been a real challenge. Been working on that one since January. But mostly it’s been my ass. I’ve been really into my ass lately.


Wow, that’s sounds really exciting. Anything else interesting on the horizon?

Elfie:
Nope, that’s about it really.  I’m pretty focused the ass licking, it’s really taking up most of my time these days.


Oh, OK then. Let’s see, what
else… uhm, what is your favorite treat?

Elfie:
You know those bones that come out of the brown paper bag? I like those the best, very crunchy.
(she is referring to the treats purchase at the Natural Pet Suppy Store in Johnson City, I buy giant milk bones by the pound)


Good to know, I’ll be sure to keep those on hand.  Is there anything else you’d like my blog readers to know?…Elfie? Hello?

(she is answering the call of the ass)

Princess Elfie