Monthly Archives: March 2011

I am not my Trappist Brother’s Trapper Keeper’s Keeper

I work for a ginormous financial company. Everyday I am forced to clamp down on  my inner 12 year old when someone uses a suggestive phrase. So, I present my list of  my favorite sexually suggestive phrases that I see/hear at work everyday:

  • Penetration Rate
  • Service the Customer
  • Cum Report (someone decided to abbreviate cumulative)
  • Top’s Down
  • Bottom’s Up

and my personal favorite

  • Percentage of Customers who self service

I will continue to add to the list as I hear new phrases!

It Just Keeps a Coming…

The second of the big craft projects that I finished this weekend actually started about 6 months ago.  I had an old mirror that started out life as part of a dresser. Mom refinished the dresser and detached the mirror so that it could hang on the wall. Many years later, I gave away the dresser but I kept the mirror. Dad made me a flat wooden frame for the mirror. Anyone who knows my dad knows what a word working freak he is. He thought it was blasphemy that I wanted him to make me a frame that I could paint. I finally won that argument. He made me a frame.

 

Here is the newly primered frame…

 

Initially, I wanted to paint a bunch of squares on it that were different colors. I was going for a folk art look to match my living room.  5 months later, I still had not finished I decided to take another route.

I used my Big Shot and the large flower from the Tim Holtz Tattered Florals die to cut the flowers. Incidentally, the book I cut up was Blood Countess by Andre Codrescu.  It’s a very trashy horror novel about Elizabeth Bathory. I recommend it for a fun read. If you are bored you can search the frame for naughty bits.

I punched the flowers, then painted them with acrylic craft paint (I painted them after because I didn’t want to get paint all over my die). You can still read the words through the paint. Here is a detailed picture of of the flowers.

 

I spray painted the frame glossy black then mod podged the flowers around the frame.  I followed up using the same stamp in the previous post, this time covering it with white acrylic craft paint.

 

After it all dried, I gave it a couple of coats of a glossy clear coat. We sealed the mirror in with silicone and hung it over the fire place.

 

It really turned out better than I expected and I think it looks great in the living room.

 

 

Watch Me Pull A Rabbit Out of My Ass! Uhm, that’s not right, HAT! Yeah, HAT!

I’ve been a crafty little beaver this weekend. There is a blank spot on the wall in my new bathroom. I’ve had an eye out for months for the perfect thing to put there. Have not found it yet. So, I decided to make it.  I thought I would share it with you fine folks.

First, I bought two small canvases at Michaels.  I coated each with a nice coat of ivory acrylic paint.

Then, I put a light coat of purple on one, dark blue on the other.

Next, I took the Tim Holtz Hardware Findings Bigz Die and cut out the key hole, keys, and hinges with contact paper. I put the keys and key hole on the purple, hinges on the blue.

Then, I painted over the whole canvas with a darker color.  Waited for it to dry and then peeled off the contact paper.

Finally, I took a giant foam stamp, coated it with a silver glaze and stamped each canvas twice.

It gave them some texture, but it is not real distinct.

Since these are going into the bathroom, I will give them a glossy clear coat.

 

I’m thinking of doing something similar for the bedroom.

It’s craft-tastic time!

So, I am now in full reception planning mode.   Since I have a very small budget, I am trying to DIY as much of it as I can. I also want the reception to reflect our personalities.  With that end in mind, I am starting a page of craft blogs that I enjoy and have found either projects or inspiration.  Please feel free to point me to any craft blogs that I am missing and I will add the to my list!