I work for a ginormous financial company. Everyday I am forced to clamp down on my inner 12 year old when someone uses a suggestive phrase. So, I present my list of my favorite sexually suggestive phrases that I see/hear at work everyday:
- Penetration Rate
- Service the Customer
- Cum Report (someone decided to abbreviate cumulative)
- Top’s Down
- Bottom’s Up
and my personal favorite
- Percentage of Customers who self service
I will continue to add to the list as I hear new phrases!
The second of the big craft projects that I finished this weekend actually started about 6 months ago. I had an old mirror that started out life as part of a dresser. Mom refinished the dresser and detached the mirror so that it could hang on the wall. Many years later, I gave away the dresser but I kept the mirror. Dad made me a flat wooden frame for the mirror. Anyone who knows my dad knows what a word working freak he is. He thought it was blasphemy that I wanted him to make me a frame that I could paint. I finally won that argument. He made me a frame.
Here is the newly primered frame…
Initially, I wanted to paint a bunch of squares on it that were different colors. I was going for a folk art look to match my living room. 5 months later, I still had not finished I decided to take another route.
I used my Big Shot and the large flower from the Tim Holtz Tattered Florals die to cut the flowers. Incidentally, the book I cut up was Blood Countess by Andre Codrescu. It’s a very trashy horror novel about Elizabeth Bathory. I recommend it for a fun read. If you are bored you can search the frame for naughty bits.
I punched the flowers, then painted them with acrylic craft paint (I painted them after because I didn’t want to get paint all over my die). You can still read the words through the paint. Here is a detailed picture of of the flowers.
I spray painted the frame glossy black then mod podged the flowers around the frame. I followed up using the same stamp in the previous post, this time covering it with white acrylic craft paint.
After it all dried, I gave it a couple of coats of a glossy clear coat. We sealed the mirror in with silicone and hung it over the fire place.
It really turned out better than I expected and I think it looks great in the living room.
I’ve been a crafty little beaver this weekend. There is a blank spot on the wall in my new bathroom. I’ve had an eye out for months for the perfect thing to put there. Have not found it yet. So, I decided to make it. I thought I would share it with you fine folks.
First, I bought two small canvases at Michaels. I coated each with a nice coat of ivory acrylic paint.
Then, I put a light coat of purple on one, dark blue on the other.
Next, I took the Tim Holtz Hardware Findings Bigz Die and cut out the key hole, keys, and hinges with contact paper. I put the keys and key hole on the purple, hinges on the blue.
Then, I painted over the whole canvas with a darker color. Waited for it to dry and then peeled off the contact paper.
Finally, I took a giant foam stamp, coated it with a silver glaze and stamped each canvas twice.
It gave them some texture, but it is not real distinct.
Since these are going into the bathroom, I will give them a glossy clear coat.
I’m thinking of doing something similar for the bedroom.
So, I am now in full reception planning mode. Since I have a very small budget, I am trying to DIY as much of it as I can. I also want the reception to reflect our personalities. With that end in mind, I am starting a page of craft blogs that I enjoy and have found either projects or inspiration. Please feel free to point me to any craft blogs that I am missing and I will add the to my list!