Monthly Archives: October 2016

I watched it so you don’t have to

I’ll tell you a secret.  I’m an atheist. [gasp!]  I have traveled a long and winding road to get to this position. I will tell you another secret.  I wish, I wish, I wish that I was wrong.  I wish that there was some magic in the world. Sometimes I envy those that cling to their beliefs in a capricious (and apparently generally absent) sky daddy that some how controls the workings of life.  I envy the young woman who wears a pentagram around her neck and her less capricious but equally absent sky mommies who don’t control the workings of life but do grant wishes like genies.

With that in mind, I am scrolling though Amazon Prime video in the documentary section and I stumble on this little gem called The Magic of Solomon.  The description reads like it will be an anthropological look at western mysticism, of the Golden Dawn variety. So, I grabbed my crochet hook and queued that sucker up.  Boy howdy, was I wrong.  It is actual tutorial in ritual magic narrated and written by an older gentleman who looked like Lewis Barnavelt’s crazy uncle Jonathan from A House With a Clock in Its Walls (one of my all time favorite books). It consists of grown men and women in black robes singing in monotones to the arch angels and staring at crystal balls. I couldn’t look away. I’m sure they were going for otherworldly and maybe even creepy but the actual result was sort of sad.   There was one obligatory goth looking chick but the rest of them looked like elementary school teachers.  Oh, and I could see their blue jeans underneath their robes.  None of which were the same, one guy looked like he bought a monk costume at Halloween express and the goth girl must of purchased the ‘dark enchantress’ costume from the same store.  The video ends with the opportunity to buy the book and a warning that  the magic demonstrated is not for use by children or the mentally ill.

Who paid for this?  Better question, who besides me and their grandma’s ever watched this?   I take that back, their grandma’s were probably scandalized by it.