Tag Archives: Irksome Behavior

I spend one Saturday a year feeding disoriented bees.

I recently had my annual visit to the girlie doctor.  As I was leaving, I passed a girl who appeared to be no more than 16 and was quite obviously pregnant. This made me sad, but not for the reasons you assume. First, she was probably older than she looked (I hope).  So, even if she was only 16 it does not make me sad that a 15/16 year old girl is having sex.  Hell, that is what our bodies are screaming for us to do at that age.  It made me sad because she either didn’t know she had options to protect herself from that situation or that she was told that abstinence was the only way and therefore just didn’t try.  The thought that she would do that on purpose is too frightening to even consider, so I wont.

I just don’t understand the abstinence only philosophy for teenagers. It is not realistic and it is dangerous.  Should15 year olds have sex?  No.  Do 15 year olds have sex?  Of course. They should be shown how to protect themselves and be prepared for the situation.

Making birth control available to teenagers does not equal a license to have sex.  Trust me on this one, I was lucky that my Mom realized this and prepped us.  Did she then allow our boyfriends to stay over?  HELL no, I had to sneak around like every other teenager and it is a LOT harder to do in a town as small as Oceana, WV than it would be in Johnson City, TN.


That is sooo Butt Unknown

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling recently.  I went from never having been on a plane to being on 10 planes in a month.  One thing puzzles me.  Why do airplane seats recline in the first place?  What kind of douche canoe rams his seat back into the face of their neighbor to the rear without so much as a ‘how do you do’? Now, my flights were relatively short.  The longest was close to 3 hours.  So, I’m not talking about one of those  8 hour inter continental monsters.  I’m talking about the flights so short you don’t even get a blanket.  What makes you so important that I have the whole 3 hours to judge the quality of your anti dandruff shampoo? Next time, don’t be surprised if you have a little lingering back pain from a well place knee.  Or perhaps the lingering cold from a well placed sneeze.  Just saying.

Why are there pink ribbons on my eggs???!!!???

Eggs for a Cure?October is breast cancer awareness month. Honestly, do we really need more breast cancer awareness? It’s like the Paris Hilton of cancers.  I’m pretty sure everyone in the free world is down with saving second base, the tatas,  boobies, fun bags, dirty pillows, the girls (do you want me to go on? I can…). What we need is NOT some new trinket with a pink ribbon on it. What we need is money for research. Breast cancer is not even the highest killer of women. In 2010 the American Cancer Society estimates that Lung & Bronchus cancer will have a death rate of 26% for women and 29% of men. Breast cancer comes in second at 15%.  Lung cancer consistently has the highest death rate but rates around 3rd for research dollars. Why? Because people feel guilty when they have lung cancer, even though genetics can be as much a contributor as lifestyle and environment. You don’t hear much from proud lung cancer survivors, partly because there are not that many and partly because they are ashamed.  Survivors of any cancer should be celebrated, not just cancer that affects the hooters.

Consider this, before you buy that pink magnet to slap on your car, where is that money going? How much of that $5 you plunked down is REALLY going to make a difference to anyone besides Walgreen’s and the Chinese women who churn that crap out. Truthfully, probably very little, if any of that money will go to any cause.  Spend/give your money where it counts and consider the other forms of cancer also. We should be aware of ALL cancer and striving to stop it.

Not now, thanks. I’m poemizing.

And now it is time for another installment of the insanely popular “weird observations and rants.”

In the category of I just don’t get it…… Scent rings. I was handed a new Avon book today and contained therein was a scent ring that I could purchase for a small price. Who the hell needs so much perfume that she must wear a ring with a congealed glob of perfume in it so that it can be skillfully reapplied at any time? Are you expecting a perfume emergency???  I know who THINKS they need it, well I don’t know this lady’s name. I only know that she seems to have always been in the bathroom at work right before me and leaves behind the scent of an perfume laden turd. Seriously, if you are wearing so much perfume it is excreted in your waste then you have, well, I don’t know what you have other than industrial sized drum of cheap au d’toillet.

In the category of I hate Spring time…… I hate Spring time for two reasons. 1. Allergies and 2. storms. I can gauge barometric pressure my head. All week, the rain has play hell with my head. Its like being stuck in a room with Helen Keller humming the ENTIRE Bee Gee’s catalog on an infinite loop. It is not quite painful, but it does induce waves of nausea and the desire to commit homicide.