Tag Archives: Work

That is sooo Butt Unknown

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling recently.  I went from never having been on a plane to being on 10 planes in a month.  One thing puzzles me.  Why do airplane seats recline in the first place?  What kind of douche canoe rams his seat back into the face of their neighbor to the rear without so much as a ‘how do you do’? Now, my flights were relatively short.  The longest was close to 3 hours.  So, I’m not talking about one of those  8 hour inter continental monsters.  I’m talking about the flights so short you don’t even get a blanket.  What makes you so important that I have the whole 3 hours to judge the quality of your anti dandruff shampoo? Next time, don’t be surprised if you have a little lingering back pain from a well place knee.  Or perhaps the lingering cold from a well placed sneeze.  Just saying.

I am not my Trappist Brother’s Trapper Keeper’s Keeper

I work for a ginormous financial company. Everyday I am forced to clamp down on  my inner 12 year old when someone uses a suggestive phrase. So, I present my list of  my favorite sexually suggestive phrases that I see/hear at work everyday:

  • Penetration Rate
  • Service the Customer
  • Cum Report (someone decided to abbreviate cumulative)
  • Top’s Down
  • Bottom’s Up

and my personal favorite

  • Percentage of Customers who self service

I will continue to add to the list as I hear new phrases!